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Mar 12, 2010
Jack's sorry affair
Tears and shouting reign at Jack Neo's press conference on his affairs
By adeline chia, viewpoint
One can look at film director Jack Neo's press conference as a short punchy film: beautifully directed and sincerely performed, the plot centred on infidelity.
There were sobbing protaganists, shouting, a dramatic collapse and action sequences which almost ended in fisticuffs, thanks to getai regular Zhong Yaonan's heroic intervention.
Suffice to say, it will be one of the most watched five-minute press conferences on the Internet.
But viewers looking for some form of closure to Neo's scandal had better look elsewhere. He evaded the hard questions.
He did not even come close to providing answers to some important questions: Did you sexually harass the artists you signed up? What is your response to disappointed fans? What did you learn from this episode? Will you be less preachy in your future films, given your own personal failings?
Instead, his manager said there would be no question-and-answer session.
Neo's statement, which appeared to be carefully scripted, said the obvious: 'I caused this entire incident. It was entirely my fault and it has nothing to do with anyone.'
Yes, tell us something we do not already know, Jack.
He never once apologised in his short 12-sentence statement. Not to the public, because he owes them nothing, but to his wife and family.
And some may argue he also owes an apology to his fans, since the Cultural Medallion recipient is often quoted as the voice of the heartland.
Neither did he once mention his wife, Irene Kng, by name.
Compare this to philandering golfer Tiger Wood's ingratiating apology for his 'selfish and irresponsible behaviour'. He also mentioned his wife's name, Elin, many times.
Neo's attitude towards his wife is telling. In fact, some people would say what the conference showed that he is using his wife to deflect scrutiny of his own wrongdoings.
Revealingly, he said: 'She told me she didn't know how to face the media. So I hope this is the last time we talk to the media.'
Then why drag the poor woman into the limelight in the first place?
Clearly, because this has been the juiciest scandal in the local entertainment industry for a long time, teams of journalists, cameramen and photographers will attend the conference.
Madam Kng's distress was obvious. Even before she spoke, she looked bewildered as the camera flashes exploded blindingly in her face - until she realised it was better to look down.
As her husband spoke, she fought back tears.
When she took the microphone, her voice wavered and she wore a heartbreaking grimace on her wan face. It was like seeing a kitten being tortured.
It would take a heart of stone not to feel any pity when she said: 'I have been hurt enough, so please spare me.'
It was grim and humiliating indeed, and her spectacular breakdown - knees buckling, uncontrollable wails - was documented on video and on cameras.
If Neo were really sorry, should he have put her on the spot and in the media glare? Would this have helped their marriage in any way?
It is significant that Woods did his public apology alone without his wife, Elin Nordegren. Hillary Clinton was absent when Bill Clinton admitted his affair with Monica Lewinsky in a public address in 1998.
Madam Kng, if she chose to attend the conference, might have been spared from making a statement.
After all, she was the wronged party. She was not the one who caused this ugly scene and she did not have to pick up the pieces of this affair.
You could say that she was being the archetypal supportive wife, doing everything she can to help her husband and to save her marriage.
But the more cynical among us may conclude that the conference was focused on her total and all-consuming pain, and distracts the public from Neo's own mistakes. The effect is to guilt-trip everyone into forgetting he had started the whole mess in the first place.
Neo said: 'My wife has endured the pain that many women can't endure.'
What he is in fact saying is: 'Look at this poor woman. Leave her alone, and leave me alone.'
There are many other clues that point to how highly staged and managed the entire conference was.
The J Team artists, including Nick Shen, Michelle Tay and Zhong, arrived together in a van, slightly earlier than Neo and his wife - to show their solidarity and their support for the couple.
Together, they were seated in the front row of the auditorium, which was barred from the media.
Zhong, better known to fans as Ah Nan, created a dramatic scene, shouting and pulling the photographers away. It culminated with his arms stretched open in a martyr-like pose worthy of the best Hong Kong gangster flicks.
After the press conference, there was a buffet reception. As if anyone had the appetite to eat after witnessing the public humiliation of a much wronged woman.
chiahta@sph.com.sg
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'It was entirely my fault and it has nothing to do with anyone'
Jack Neo with his wife Irene Kng coming out of hiding to face the glare of the media
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'I have been hurt enough, so please spare me'
Madam Kng who spoke up to support her husband
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Jack's secret lives
Life! traces how Jack Neo's extramarital love life was unravelled.
Last Friday: Neo's girlfriend, actress-model Wendy Chong, 22, goes public about their two-year affair. She alerts the media that she is in talks with him and his wife Irene Kng at Crowne Plaza hotel in Changi airport.
Last Saturday: The story breaks in Lianhe Wanbao.
Sunday: Sordid details of the film director's affair with Chong emerge in Shin Min Daily News, such as how they had sex in his car.
Foreign Minister George Yeo writes on his blog that Singaporeans should 'rally around Jack, his wife and his children at this time'.
Monday: Host-actress Foyce Le Xuan, 25, comes forward. She says in an interview with Lianhe Wanbao that Neo tried to woo her when she joined his company, J Team, in 2004.
Tuesday: Mitsubishi Electric Asia drops him as its spokesman for StarMex air-conditioners.
Wednesday: French student Maelle Meurzec, 21, comes forward. In an interview with The New Paper, she says Neo hit on her when she was a 16-year-old extra in his 2005 film, I Do, I Do.
Thursday: Neo and his wife meet the media at Scorpio East Building.
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He sobs, she collapses: Neo and wife face the press
Tears are shed by both film-maker and wife, who has to be helped out
By Foong Woei Wan
TEARFUL pleading, shoving, shouting, wailing and an impassioned display of loyalty.
It was all over in just five minutes, but there was no lack of Channel 8-style drama when film-maker Jack Neo and his wife met the media yesterday morning, five days after his adulterous affair was exposed.
Both Neo, 50, and Madam Irene Kng, 46, broke down during the press conference at Scorpio East Building in Paya Lebar, where he has an office.
Last Friday, he admitted to having had an affair with model-actress Wendy Chong, 22. At least two other young women have since claimed that he made advances towards them too.
Madam Kng sobbed uncontrollably after she spoke yesterday, and had to be helped out of the auditorium by her husband and his protege, funnyman Mark Lee, after she crumpled on the stage.
In the scrum that followed as cameramen crowded around them, Neo snapped and shouted: 'Go away!' in Mandarin.
One of the artists from his J Team production company, burly Zhong Yaonan, leapt on stage to fend off the reporters, and bellowed: 'Go! Go! Go! Go! Go away!'
Madam Kng's weeping was audible even as she was escorted out through the stage door.
Her husband had looked drawn and she, thin and frail, as they arrived at the press conference holding hands. It was a standing-room-only affair attended by about 70 reporters - including a few from Malaysia.
'The past few days have not been easy for us, I am sure that all of you know that,' Neo began in Mandarin. 'I caused this entire incident. It was entirely my fault and it has nothing to do with anyone.
'Today, I feel that the luckiest thing for me is that my wife has forgiven me,' he said as he cupped his brow and sobbed.
His voice was hoarse as he said: 'My wife has endured the pain that many women can't endure.'
Adding that she did not know how to deal with all the media attention, he said: 'I hope this is the last time we talk to the media. Please give us a chance.'
Picking up the microphone with a grim smile, Madam Kng also asked the media to 'spare' her.
'I can only say this: because I love Jack, I love this marriage, I love my family,' she said. 'I have been hurt enough, so please spare me.'
She broke down - and her husband dabbed away his tears - when she said: 'The most important thing for me now is that I need your support and blessing.'
There was an admission of guilt, but no apology from Neo yesterday.
Speaking to The Straits Times later, Mark Lee said Neo had intended to apologise to his fans, his family and others but cut the press conference short when his wife became too upset.
'Jack told me in the car this morning that he was prepared to apologise to his fans, his parents, his siblings, his father-in-law, his church friends, the parents of the women and everyone who has been affected in any way by this.'
Neo had planned to apologise after Madam Kng spoke but 'he couldn't do it because Ah Bu stood up to leave', said Lee, using the Hokkien nickname for his mentor's wife. It means mother.
'He knew that Ah Bu stood up because she could not take it any more. The pressure and all the camera flashes were too much for her. So when she wanted to leave, Jack had to accompany her.'
Lee also defended Neo from charges that he was using his wife as a shield at the press conference.
'The fact is, they had already discussed and decided that they wanted to face the media together. If Irene had said no, I know Jack would not have forced her.'
Apology or not, host-actress Foyce Le Xuan, one of the women who alleges that Mr Neo hit on her, was ready to put the episode behind her.
The 25-year-old former J Team artist said she 'felt like crying' when she heard of Madam Kng's dramatic collapse.
She said she hoped the public would give her erstwhile mentor a chance. 'I want him to recover from this setback and be on his feet again.'
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All right to fool around?
Some men say that philandering is okay but what if your own daughters turn out to be the victims in the future?
By john lui, viewpoint
Adulterer Jack Neo's air of wounded male pride at yesterday's press conference reminded me of a lesson in morality I received last year.
I had visited the home of millionaire Felix Ong to interview him about his self-produced calendars. They feature his sayings and one of them goes: 'Good men: Acting cool is not a crime. Having physical desires is not a sin. Just remember that at the end of the day, home is where you belong.'
We ended up talking about fidelity, of course.
What he said floored me. Not because it was new or particularly deviant, but because he was the first man I had ever known to put on record what many of us know.
Among Chinese men in Singapore, there is an honour code that applies to sex outside marriage which can be summed up as: Do what you like outside, just do not bring it home.
As long as this code is adhered to, the extramarital exploits of married men, no matter how repulsive one may find them, are still within tolerable limits.
The ex-Rediffusion Hokkien-language presenter, singer, emcee, playwright and part-time actor knew enough to say that he was not encouraging cheating.
Mr Ong, 62, who made his millions after he sold his precision metal parts firm Seksun Corporation, liked to think of himself as an amateur social scientist and occasional marriage counsellor and he was simply describing a basic male impulse. Smart wives should just ignore it, he says.
'Do not expect every man to be loyal. Maybe one out of 1,000 will be. You cannot stop a man from doing what he wants when he travels out of Singapore. Put a box of condoms in his suitcase. Be safe. You cannot beat it, so follow it. If you keep on being jealous, you will spoil the relationship.'
In many ways, what he was saying varied only slightly from the values of the Sicilian-American mobsters from one of my favourite TV shows, the HBO drama series The Sopranos.
The gangsters fiercely believed in family values and were wiling to kill and die over family honour, yet all of them had mistresses, and wives who tolerated them.
The lengths the men would go to keep the boundaries between family and mistress intact provided the show with much of its humour.
The code, that even went into detail about what 'clean' and 'dirty' acts were between a mistress and her keeper, was deadly serious to the men. But to an observer like me, they are seen for what they are: Comical rationalisations for self-indulgence.
It really is no different from other self-serving rationalisations I have heard, such as the old one that goes 'I know someone who has smoked for 40 years and is still perfectly healthy'.
I have men friends who are married and go to hostess lounges and see no shame in it. Shame is not being able to provide for the family.
Men kill themselves because they fail to put food on the family table, but not when they have broken the vow of monogamy.
There is another Chinese saying that backs up what Mr Ong says.
The phrase in Mandarin 'nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai' translates as 'good guys do not get the girls', which is almost like saying that cheaters stand a better chance of getting married.
Case in point: Tiger Woods, the golfer who was caught in the same situation as Jack Neo. The watchmaker Tag Heuer, along with several other companies, stopped sponsoring him. But Tag Heuer chief exeucutive Jean-Christophe Babin says the brand kept using his image in China.
'In China, conversely, you have Tag Heuer with Tiger Woods everywhere because with the Chinese, it rather increases their esteem. In China, by tradition, your success is measured by your number of mistresses,' he says.
There is one big difference between Tiger Woods and Jack Neo's philandering. Woods had sex with adult women while Neo seemed to have hit on very young women who were looking to break into showbusiness.
None of the women that Neo is linked with could be called mistresses in the strict sense of the word, but he did become intimate with one of them and there have been several forum posters who have given him pats on the back for trying so hard to increase his 'score'.
These macho men and virile stallions who prefer to live in a world where their impulses are not only tolerated, but justified by an unwritten 'brotherhood code' should remember that this is the world they leave behind to their daughters.
As Neo's own comedies like to emphasise, when karma bites, the laughter stops.